Lol, the title makes me snort. I’ve turned over a LOT of leaves in my life. Lots and lots. Think enough leaves that when raked together, would make a great pile for jumping in. I’ve had a boatload of official-sound #1s.
But this time I hope will be different. And I snort again at how trite that sounds. Yes, I’ve said it a few times before. But before I hadn’t come across Dana at A Slob Comes Clean. I’m not going to go into all the ins and out of the way my mind works and the fact that I struggle more with housekeeping than the average person (a LOT more), how I’m highly distractible and have no focus when it comes to this menial lot in life, blah, blah, blah, because Dana has described my thought and behavior patterns to a tee and if any of my nonexistent readers are that interested, they can go over and read her blog from the beginning and you will find pretty much exactly where I’m at now.
I’ve always been a messy (I prefer the title of ‘messy’ to ‘slob’ because ‘slob’ has so many negative connotations in my mind and I already have way, way too many degrading names for myself, if I’m working on my lack of self-esteem, I can’t be calling myself a slob, even in a humorous and self-deprecating way. Even if it’s true.). My whole life I’ve been scolded and then criticized for my lack of tidiness. The ironic thing is that I remember even as a young child, visiting homes that were not quite as tidy and clean as my parents’ and thinking, “I will NEVER let my house get this messy when I’m grown up!” Ha. Yeah, and then I did. I also have a vivid memory of seeing the inside of someone’s junk drawer and being entirely grossed out. Like, it still gives me shudders. And it was just an average junk drawer. But the jumble of rubber bands and pencils and hair doo-dads and thumbtacks and bits of paper just gave me the physical heebie jeebies. Not sure what that has to do with anything, but sometimes I think my avoidance of decluttering tasks is almost a sensory issue. But anyways, that’s kind of off-topic because, for now, I’m focusing on baby steps and developing one small daily habit at a time, building up to easier, less stressful maintenance of my home. Just keeping the main living areas picked up and presentable, that’s all for now.
I wrote in an earlier blog post about being so stressed out with all that we’re doing in life right now and trying and failing to keep up with it all, and I feel like my house is a major stressor, and has been for as long as, well, ever. It’s sappy me of mental and emotional energy that I desperately need for putting into much worthier directions. But I can’t just stop housekeeping and not care. Because I can’t. The messiness stresses me as much as the maintenance. But my house is ruling me and I resolve to turn that around and become the ruler of my house instead. And I have a feeling that become the master of mini maintenance and developing habits that take care of the little messes before they become big messes will help me become more organized and able to more fully focused on other things in my life. Maybe I can get to a place where Bountiful Baskets or other obligations aren’t such a big deal.
Anyways. This blog post is already getting much too long for this morning. I don’t have to write everything I want to write right now because there will be time to write more at a later date. <—–reminding myself. Perfectionism. It's totally a curse.
But I'm going to start a very short list of one or two non-negotiable daily tasks that I'm going to work on building into habits. Baby steps. For these first few days, I'm going to make my bed every morning as soon as I wake up. Someday I'll blog about why this can be a bigger deal for me than it is for normal people, and it has nothing to do with being a messy. But not today, I have a crap load to get done before a big event I'm sponsoring tomorrow. For today I shall document the housekeeping wins I've had and then tomorrow I'll do it again and then the next day and the day after that and the day after that. Not that anybody is really reading here, but I need the accountability. Blogging will not be a daily non-negotiable, but I would like to stick with it, to chronicle my journey of developing the habits for the rest of my life.
So, today I:
Made my bed
Hung out a load of laundry that was laying in the washer overnight
Put a load of diapers in the washer, will hang them out shortly
Put away 2 loads of clean laundry
And it's not even 9:15 a.m.
A Slob Comes Clean