For more prettiness, check out all the links at Beth’s!

I present to you my kitchen at 5:00 p.m. Tuesday afternoon:

When I woke up yesterday morning, I hadn’t really planned on baking and cooking, but then I remembered that I needed to bake bread so JD Man could have sandwiches for lunch. And there were chicken breasts thawed out that I wasn’t sure what to do with and decided if I was going to be baking bread, I might as well mix up dumplings too. Then I realized that I could quick do granola bars too. I must get in the habit of baking granola bars more regularly as they are splendid additions to lunches and the homemade versions are so much cheaper than store bought. Side tangent, does the term “store bought” sound like a down home, country folks kind of word to you too? It kind of annoys me because it seems so grammatically incorrect, but that’s what we use to refer to items purchased in the store that could have been made at home, so I deal with it. Tangent over.

Anyways, so I got everything done and baaaaaarely had enough light to try my hand at food photography.

Yes, food photographer I am not, but the chicken and dumplings (or pot pie, if you’re from Lancaster Co., PA) were good!

For more busyness, head on over to Beth’s!

Then last night, I realized a little bit of what motherhood means for me.

For me, it means, instead of just picking up and running off to chase the light when I want to, I wrap the babies up and throw them (not literally, of course) into the pickup for a photography expedition.

Maybe it’s kind of inconvenient, but I don’t see it that way. It’s worth losing 5 minutes of the light to bring them along and showing them that it’s ok to drop everything and chase the light. To stop and smell the roses, if you will. That beauty in this life must be grasped onto and appreciated while you can. That life isn’t all about getting things done, which is the way I’m wont to view it at times.

Oh, and the light I was chasing?

Behold the sweetness of the rain-swept prairie and the light that shines between the rain clouds.

Head on over to Beth’s for more profound visual takes on motherhood.

SO! This week’s You Capture theme was the outdoors.

I can’t say I’m really too impressed with my photos this week because when I thought outdoors, I thought color! blooms! warm, golden light! And spring, while it is finally here to stay, I hope, is taking it’s time manifesting itself here on the prairie. Well, not really any longer than it should, but I’m just impatient.

So, I did what Beth wanted us to do and got outside. And captured what color I could find. It’s definitely there and becoming more visible every day! Like I said, I’m just impatient.

My rhubarb is showing its face! You have no idea how excited this makes me! The idea that before too very long, I’ll be able to harvest something from my garden and construct some yumminess with it. WAY before most of the rest of the garden is ready to harvest.

Oh, look! Here’s a bit of color!

Stuck in a puddle.

And none too happy about it. Especially when you have a mom who takes pictures of eeeeeeeeverything and won’t help you out. Poor bubs. But hey, at least he was playing outside!

I’m referencing to the fact that I’ve never really announced our plans for where we’ll birth this time. Which, really, do I have to? No, not really. But in my outspokenness for the beauty, safety and general betterness of home birth, I feel I should.

So, here it is: if all goes to plan and this little one is not born in our bathtub after a freakishly short labor, or alongside a cold, rural, North Dakota byway, we will be going to a hospital like normal, average Americans. *gasp!* I know.

Due to some things involving money and health insurance plans, as well as the fact that we live 50 miles from the nearest hospital equipped for the kind of emergencies we would have to transfer for and that the lack of midwifery legislation in the state means home birth midwives can’t carry things like Pitocin, this seemed like the best option. While I totally respect those that feel those risks are low enough to make the experience worth it, I personally couldn’t get past the “What if?” I just couldn’t.

And although I was terrified and vehemently opposed to the hospital idea at first, but I’ve done my research, asked my questions, lost sleep, and stressed out and now I’ve come around. I’ve come to realize that, while there’s a lot of unnecessary junk that goes on in the {American} hospital birthing world today, there’s also a lot of educated, informed women who know what they want and walk in to have perfectly beautiful, physiologically normal, natural births. Not that that’s what everyone wants, but it’s what I want and what I honestly and truly feel is best for me and my baby.

So, I’ve found a doctor whom I feel respects my choices and my ability to make those choices. I’ve contacted a doula with whom I’ll meet up later this week. JD Man and I have talked over the short, bulleted birth plan and he’s on board, even though he too would prefer to just stay home for the whole thing.

And honestly? I’m looking forward to it! I’m looking forward to the amazing thing that giving birth is. I’m looking forward to having a day or two of just me and baby relaxing {hopefully} in the hospital, focusing on nursing and bonding before being thrown back into everyday life again. I’m looking forward to see how the whole thing turns out!

All that to say: yep, we’re having a baby in that evil place called a hospital! And we’re ok with it! Now please go find some smelling salts!

Part of the reason being that I’m an all or nothing person- I feel like if I don’t have time to sit down and blog about everything that’s happened since I last posted, it’s not worthwhile doing. So I push it off, waiting for more time and then in the process of waiting for time to write about stuff that has already happened, more of life happens, making more stuff that I haven’t written about so will need even more time to blog about it all. And it just never happens because I get overwhelmed with that kind of feeling easily. Make sense? It does to me.

So. I’ve decided to go with a slightly different direction. I realized that my best posts in all of the random blogging I’ve done were the ones where I just wrote what I thought and felt about something. If you know me in person, at least kinda well, you’ll know that I have lots of opinions and I like to share those opinions. If you only know me a little bit in person, you won’t know this about me because I try to keep my mouth shut until we know each other better so I don’t scare you off.

This is not a photoblog, though as an aspiring photographer and as a mom, I’m sure I’ll end sharing some pictures here and there. This is not a blog where I keep the relatives informed on what’s been going on around here- that’s what phones and Facebook are for.

This will just be me.

And my opinions. I’ll try to write in a way that doesn’t make me sound too dreadful and stuck up, but I’ll tell you what I think about whatever it is I feel like blogging about that day. And, since it’s my blog, I reserve the write what I want without hunting up links to statistics that back up all of what I have to say.

And I want your comments. I love comments- what blogger doesn’t? I welcome opinions and thoughts that differ from mine. I don’t debate or discuss things well in person because I just can’t think that quick on my feet, but blogging is a different story- it allows me time to digest things and reply in a better, well thought out way. Unless, of course, it’s a hot topic for me and you write something I totally don’t agree with- then I will probably reply very quickly in a way that I will regret later and wish I could have said differently.

BUT! I won’t be afraid to delete comments if they are made just because what I said made someone mad and they want to call me names simply because they hold a different view. Maybe not entirely fair, but it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Disagree with me, fine. Debate with me, great! Mean, nasty, and ill-tempered, bye-bye.

So, all that to say, if you clicked over here from Facebook because you thought this was a life update, sorry. Also, if you don’t like things I have to say or share over there, don’t come back and comment on future posts if it bothers you so much.

Wow! Look! I just blogged again! And I look forward to doing it again soon, rather than just being glad that I got that done. Trust me, I’ll be back soon. There are several subjects that have been on my mind lately that I really have no one to discuss with, so I might as well say what I think here. Things like diet, the term ‘birth’ rape, the phrase “I could never do that.”, my pregnancy, and more.

See ya soon!

In case you’re not friended to me on Facebook, let me explain: I’m in the midst of a 3000 mile trip to Pennsylvania and Michigan. I did the hardest leg yesterday- our house to my Aunt’s house in northern Indiana. Actually, I left our place at 5 pm Sunday afternoon. Drove across most of North Dakota, Minnesota, pulling over in one of their rest stops for an hour of shut-eye, followed a beautiful shiny grain trailer through Minneapolis because he didn’t look like he belonged in the city and, since I had neglected to look at the map of Minneapolis before hand, had no idea where I was going. But my friend with the shiny trailer got me through the construction and detours and back to I-94 on the east side of the city. Although, he probably has no idea I followed him and doesn’t know I call him my friend. Lol.

Then I continued into Wisconsin. I stopped a little west of Eau Claire and slept for another half hour, until it was light. The light saved me and I was able to finish the trip with no sleepiness. Soreness was in sheer abundance though. I seem to gather tension in the middle of my upper back, right between my shoulder. Ugh, my neck and shoulders were so sore. I couldn’t even turn to look behind me before changing lanes without it hurting pretty bad.

But anyways, I made it down to Illinois and one of the mother of all things I worried about on this trip- Chicago. There were two mothers of all things I worried about- doing that distance by myself being the other one. And wow, did I feel like a country bumpkin, with my dusty 4-door, long bed pick-up, trying to change lanes among the BMWs, Audis, and Mercedes. And I learned that while you may have your blinker on, but city people don’t really wait for you to change lanes. You’ve got to gun it and get into the space that’s there. But. thankfully, it was around noon when I went through, so no rush hour traffic. Now that would have made me cry.

The last 1.5 hours between Chicago and my Aunt’s house were the longest of the entire trip! Wow. I’d look at the mile marker and freak out since I’d only looked .2 miles before and I could have sworn I’d gone at least 5 miles since I last looked. But, finally, finally we got to the exit and were within 10 minutes of my Aunt’s house. And I’m not kidding when I say that I very nearly burst into tears when we came in view of the house. Honestly- my eyes welled up and I was like there it IS!

Oh, and I should note that G did exceptionally well! I think I got him out 4 times in the 20 hours we were travelling (about 18 actual driving hours). I was expecting to have to find rest stops and let him get out and run, but he was fine with the potty and gas breaks we took. Of course, I’m sure it helped that we did most of the driving at night and so he slept most of the way. Which was also a huge blessing. I was so glad he fell asleep and slept pretty well. But even when he wasn’t sleeping, he did great. As long as his blanket was in reach and he got animal crackers and carrot sticks to chomp on, he was pretty happy. He actually just looked out the window a lot- he loved watching the semis rumble by.

Nonetheless, he was as happy as I was when we finally arrived at our destination and he could get out and play with cousins.

And praise God that my pick-up held together! It has almost 200,000 miles on and multiple things that JD Man was worried about, but it did well this far. Even if it has no cruise and that bench seat gets incredibly uncomfortable around the 400 mile mark.

Now that the longest part of the trip is over, I plan to drive on to Lancaster Co., Pennsylvania in a few days, probably leaving very early in the morning so that Gabe sleeps most of the way again. But that 10 hours has nothing on me now! That seems so easy! Ha, we’ll see what I’m saying 9 hours into it.

We had a lovely, lovely weekend camping out with another family from church at a nearby reservoir/lake. It was very much a last minute trip- we were invited Friday morning and headed over to the campsite late Friday afternoon.

This was G’s first camping trip and I think he loved it. He did really well- particularly on Friday night. We slept in a tent, G in his pack’n'play, and it turned out to be a pretty windy night. Windy enough to keep JD Man and I awake, all the while threatening to flatten our tent. In my fuzzy, tired mind, I imagined that we were climbers in a tent on the side of Mt. Everest. Yes, I have a weird brain.

The other family had 4 kids, ages 11-6 (?), so G had a bunch of really good baby-sitters.

Part of the fireworks stash. Hehe.

A couple of smoke bombs and “snakes” were lit Saturday afternoon, but most of the stash was saved for Sunday evening when a bunch more people from church came out to the campground for a cookout.

My 2 best boys.

Of course, you can have neither Independence Day nor a camp out without this stuff. And I let everyone else eat it. Blah. Hehe. Just not my cup of tea.

The Sunday evening gathering… all except the RV on the left. They were another party doing their own thing. But they were nice neighbors!

Almost all the kids went swimming, but it was kinda cool that evening so I stayed dry. And protected all the church people from the sight of me in a bathing suit.

Duh FOOD!

There was some uh.MAZ.ing light that evening.

Haha, didn’t notice until right now that I caught the fishing pole next to me mid-cast and a very nice little *plunk* of the bobber on the water.

Then it was time for fireworks!

The kids running up the hill, chasing after the “parachutes.”

A few attempts at light painting with sparklers.

And that’s how the camping trip finished out.

And then I came home to a messy, dirty house with a huge to-do list before I head out East next Monday. Yes, ’twas a lovely feeling. But, oh, we had fun and it was definitely worth it!

Oh, and as part of this introductory post, I thought you’d all like to know that I’ve been published! Well, ok, fine. So I contributed my birth story to OMGmom’s Everybody Births! site. Here’s the link.