Chalkboard Fun!

Another project post. Again, not really anything to do with housekeeping or organizing, but it is kinda, I guess.

North wall in the kitchen kinda before. I always forget to take photos before I start into projects.
And now, voila!

My chalkboard wall! With to-do and grocery lists and reminders in big letters right in front of me with no chance of missing it! Yes, I am totally an out of sight, out of mind person. I make a list and then invariably misplace said list and forget I made a list and what was on it. Now, hopefully, it’ll be a little hard to lose my list.

This is a to-do list I’ve compiled of daily goals and priorities. I’m trying not to add anything more and make it anymore overwhelming. Yes, simple as it looks, I have a hard time getting more than half of this list accomplished in a day. But, hopefully, and yes, I know I use that word a lot, as I get into a routine, as my house whips itself into shape, I can accomplish all of this and more. I also plan to designate a specific cleaning task to every day of the week. But I’m working on this list right now. That will come.
And another perk of a floor-to-ceiling chalkboard?

Lots of fun for little hands!

Entryway Project

Not really an organizing task, or even anything to do with depression, just a fun little project that I’ve been planning (and have had the supplies for) for upward of 6 months. And I just now got around to it. Actually, I started this project almost 2 weeks ago, but just got around to tying up the loose ends today.

Before

A little bench with a flip-top lid that JD Man picked up from someone’s trash pile. Cute, but very banged up and worn looking and the white really isn’t the look I’m going for in the living room/entry way. So, on the stillest, most quietest, as well as unseasonably warm day I’ve ever known in North Dakota, I went out to take care of that with a can of black spray paint. Seriously, it was so still and silent it was deafening. Like, you can hear your heart beating and your ear drums feel like they’ll simply explode from the sheer silence. Yes, it’s an oxymoron, but it’s true. But anyways, the only thing I heard, aside from my own heart beating, was the flush and call of a few pheasant. There wasn’t even a breeze. Which is very unusual when you live on the prairie. The only way you could even tell which way the air was moving was by observing the spray paint overspray. But anyways, I’m getting off track. Which doesn’t really bother me because that’s the way my brain works. But it may confuse you. Sorry. But, get used to it.

Anyways.

So, I got it spray painted all pretty and put it next to the front door in the corner of the living room, with a rug under it for all our boots and shoes. Hats and gloves go in the flip-top compartment, which is beyond great. I think it’ll work really well for all those little pieces that I’m continually losing the matches for. Now, if only I could find a similar solution for little people socks!

But anyways, *drumroll*, the finished product…

After

Quite tidy and sharp-looking, even if I do say so myself. The basket on top is for returns. Because I am horrible at remembering to return borrowed items. Or taking things along for others to borrow. Or returning that others have forgotten at my house. Well, now I have a place for those things. I just need to remember to check the basket before I run out the door.

I kind of have a half plan for putting a board with hooks over the bench, and maybe a mirror over that. But we’ll see if I can find a cheap and cute mirror. The hook board, I’m sure I can find some ideas on Pinterest for making it myself. Or, hehe, getting JD Man to make it for me. Because, while I could manage if my life depended on it, he’s so much better at making the cordless drill do what he wants it to than I am.

Digging Myself Out

THis is what my kitchen looked like Thursday morning. Yeah, not cool, not fun. Especially since the way I feel about working on the rest of the house hinges on how the kitchen is looking. And how I feel about cleaning the kitchen depends on the state of the sink. If the sink is in decent shape, the dishes are all washed in put away, I can clean up the rest of the kitchen pretty effortlessly. And then move onto the living room. But it needs to go in that order. I cannot clean around dirty dishes, no way, no how. And nothing else can be cleaned until the kitchen is clean. Seriously, it can’t happen. I can’t get my head on straight if the kitchen is a mess.

But I hate to wash dishes. HATE. IT. I know that sounds juvenile, but that’s just the way it is. It takes so much of my time and is so boring and not creative or mentally stimulating in the least. And I hate being interrupted. If I can’t get them all washed at once, I’ll wait until I have the time, so they stack up higher and higher. That’s something I’m really trying to fight because I know where my square one to the rest of the house is and it lies in the dishes. A dishwasher is at the very top of my wish list, but I don’t see that happening anywhere in the very near future, so I’ll just have to get used to dealing with the reality of washing dirty dishes and spoons and cups and pots and pans.

Thursday was one of those days where I woke up to this mess and was completely depressed by it, but knew I had to take care of it, or else. Or else, I don’t know what, but it needed to be dealt with by the end of the day or else I would be over the edge with everything else and wouldn’t be able to pull myself back without a lot of help. And, thanks to PBS cartoons, much as I hate that fact, I did conquer it. All by myself, on my own motivation, taking it one step at a time.

See?

Sadly, on this Monday morning, after an extremely busy weekend, it’s back to being almost as bad as it was Thursday morning.

And we start all over again.

Story. of. my. life.

Bookshelf To Toy Shelf Project

That would be a before shot ^ up there. The bookshelf in our living room. I decided to pull all the books off, with the plan to get rid of a bunch and put the rest on the built-in shelves in the basement bedroom, and put the toys here instead. We don’t have specific toy room, much as I would love one, and the toys just add to the disaster that is the nursery. So for now, until the kids have their own rooms, this is where the lion’s share of their toys will belong. And in a toy box in the den in the basement since they don’t all fit on the shelves.

Halfway through, last night before bed. I wanted to finish before bed, but JD Man had other plans. Plans for tax and operational loan paperwork. Yay.

So I forced myself to start on it first thing this morning, after a cup of coffee that made me completely jittery and made it even harder to think straight. But I fought through and finished it!

Isn’t it purty? We’ll see if we can keep it that way. Now, I need to rescue the living room from all this tearing apart and get a few other menial tasks accomplished so I can work on some fun CREATIVE projects this afternoon.

A New Leaf

Blah, I don’t know what that means. I’m always aspiring to turn over a new leaf. Always resolving to do something better. It’s very ADD of me. The resolutions rarely work out. I’m learning that this is my life. It’s part of what drives my depression and anxiety.

Yes, I know I haven’t blogged here in a very long time, probably over a year, and maybe I won’t actually continue on a regular basis like I plan to. We’ll see. I had the big idea to make this the blog where I ranted and said whatever I wanted and gave my completely uneducated opinion freely. But I don’t do well with consistency. Or self-discipline, it depends how you see it. But, for now, this place will serve a different purpose. I may publicize it and try and build a readership, I may not. I will, however, be writing as candidly and honestly as I can.

In the last year, since Dee’s birth, I have learned a lot about myself. I have had some of my lowest lows. Obviously, Dee’s birth being one of the highest highs of my life, but it’s been pretty downhill since then. With help from my counselor, I’ve come to realize this is depression compounded by postpartum depression, with a little anxiety and some ADD markers mixed in. Like, for realz. I have never ever viewed myself as mentally ill, but there have been times of intense anxiety, I guess you might call it, where I’ve literally felt like I was going crazy. It’s not fun. No, I’m not on meds. Many times I wish I was, but I’m afraid that I’ll run myself out of cortisol (apparently, one way that antidepressants work is that they keep a constant stream of cortisol running through your brain and your body does not manufacture that stuff. That’s your lifetime supply. At least, that’s the way I understand it.) and then where will I be? I am, however, on a bunch of herbal and vitamin supplements, but still waiting, hoping they kick in. I hope I know when they kick in. My counselor says I’ve been depressed for so long, I’m afraid I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore.

But anyways, part of what’s driving this depression is my need for perfection and the fact that I have a very difficult living up to my own standard of perfection. A big part of this shows up in my surroundings. When my surroundings are cluttered and messy, so is my brain. It seriously drives me nuts! Like, um, literally. My depression seems to be the situational kind. You can tell how I’m doing by looking at my house. Unswept kitchen floor, dirty dishes stacked next to the sink (and I do mean stacked), dining table cluttered with bills, sticky from PB&J? It’s been a bad day. Or week. And it’s not likely to get better until JD Man helps me get it back to a sorta sparkling clean. Tidy, anyways. Once in awhile, I can push myself to get things back in shape myself and with some help from the FlyLady and a timer and some other tips from around the interwebs, I’ve been able to do that more often lately. But once the visible areas are kind of pleasant to look at, I’m good for awhile, I may even be able to maintain it for a week or two, but always, slowly (or not so slowly sometimes), things always slide back to the haphazard. I think, I hope, part of this is because, once I get the main living areas decent, I begin to notice all the places I haven’t yet touched. The desk, the bedrooms, the bathroom cupboards, the coat closet, you get the point. The areas that fall by the wayside while I try and stay on top of the laundry, the cooking, the main parts of the house that are really noticeable and, oh yeah, taking care of my 3-year-old and 11-month-old. And not just taking care of, but mothering them. Ya know, crafts and reading books and playing toys and all that? Yeah, that’s been falling by the wayside too, pushed there by my craziness. And I want to *try* and fix it. Or at least build some coping methods so my brain isn’t constantly in shambles because I’m surrounded by a mess, so I can be a better, more attentive, more FUN mom to my little dearies.

So, a big part of my plan is to tackle these areas of untouched clutter, to declutter and simplify, to employ the philosophy of, “A place for everything and everything in its place.” And then, hopefully, build some habits to maintain. But even if those maintenance systems break down, I think merely having a spot for everything in this relatively small house will go a long way in getting back on track. As long as I can get my ass in gear and actually put things back where they belong. But, that’s my plan. And I plan to blog the progress of my little projects, just as a way to keep myself accountable. And maybe because I love encouraging and understanding comments and I hope that incentive will drive me forward. Not sure how I’m going to get comments if I don’t plan to publicize, but that’s beside the point.

Don’t go expecting anything as pretty and streamlined as IHeart Organizing–mostly because I can’t afford to go to Target or anywhere else and buy pretty little baskets and crates and totes because $5 is a lot of money in this house–but I will be trying to make things attractive and nice to look at. Because the artist in me craves beauty and order like nothing else and plain cardboard boxes simply won’t do.

So here’s a photo of a project JD Man helped me accomplish last weekend. This truly does make me so happy.

My craft table. With all my crafty, creative materials nicely organized. Seriously, it’s like a balm to my soul, a sigh of relief, a breath of fresh air. So very inspiring.

We may put something like this up above the table to hold some more baskets, but just one of those simple, but elegant plank shelves.

Lovely, no? We’re doing a bit of a remodel on this basement room, turning into our master bedroom/office/creative space, so something like this shouldn’t be a big deal. Not with my handy JD Man to help me.

Yes, I do feel bad that my husband has to help me out so much sometimes. Very, very guilty. He has a job that he works very hard at and I’m a SAHM that should have my act together. And I don’t. And he’s amazing. But a big reason I’m trying to make things better is him. And myself. And us.

At the moment, I’m procrastinating on finishing a organizing project that I’ve finished halfway. I’m really good at that, by the way. Procrastinating, that is. Organizing and decluttering seriously wears my brain out. I work myself into a frenzy where I can no longer even think straight. It’s really annoying and I hate it, but I’m hoping once I get some of it done, I’ll get better at it. Hoping. It’s a big theme with me. Knowing I have failed often in the past, but seeing potential in the future.

I hope.

 

{You Capture} Pretty

Well, here’s one pretty thing I managed to capture this week. At least, *I* think it’s pretty. And yes, I realize I need to find a new subject to shoot, but when I want to photograph something, the possibilities are as endless as my creativity when it comes to this pretty thang.

For more prettiness, check out all the links at Beth’s!

{You Capture} Busy

Well, I’ve been busy all week, but mostly with rather boring things. And then yesterday I was busy with something that actually lended itself well to capturing. Why is that I can never find anything for You Capture until pretty much the last minute? *must do better in fight with procrastination*

I present to you my kitchen at 5:00 p.m. Tuesday afternoon:

When I woke up yesterday morning, I hadn’t really planned on baking and cooking, but then I remembered that I needed to bake bread so JD Man could have sandwiches for lunch. And there were chicken breasts thawed out that I wasn’t sure what to do with and decided if I was going to be baking bread, I might as well mix up dumplings too. Then I realized that I could quick do granola bars too. I must get in the habit of baking granola bars more regularly as they are splendid additions to lunches and the homemade versions are so much cheaper than store bought. Side tangent, does the term “store bought” sound like a down home, country folks kind of word to you too? It kind of annoys me because it seems so grammatically incorrect, but that’s what we use to refer to items purchased in the store that could have been made at home, so I deal with it. Tangent over.

Anyways, so I got everything done and baaaaaarely had enough light to try my hand at food photography.

Yes, food photographer I am not, but the chicken and dumplings (or pot pie, if you’re from Lancaster Co., PA) were good!

For more busyness, head on over to Beth’s!

{You Capture} Motherhood

This one was tough. So tough, in fact, that I kind of procrastinated and, in the end, copped out for something convenient. I was hoping to come up with something very profound and thought-provoking, or a-day-in-my-life kind of thing. But the whole motherhood thing? It kind of got in the way.

Then last night, I realized a little bit of what motherhood means for me.

For me, it means, instead of just picking up and running off to chase the light when I want to, I wrap the babies up and throw them (not literally, of course) into the pickup for a photography expedition.

Maybe it’s kind of inconvenient, but I don’t see it that way. It’s worth losing 5 minutes of the light to bring them along and showing them that it’s ok to drop everything and chase the light. To stop and smell the roses, if you will. That beauty in this life must be grasped onto and appreciated while you can. That life isn’t all about getting things done, which is the way I’m wont to view it at times.

Oh, and the light I was chasing?

Behold the sweetness of the rain-swept prairie and the light that shines between the rain clouds.

Head on over to Beth’s for more profound visual takes on motherhood.

{You Capture} Outside

Hi all! Welcome to my “no holds barred, opinion blog.” That I never update. I’m really not new to You Capture- I’ve been doing it off and on for the last year and have recently started doing it regularly again. You may know me better as The Left-Brained Photographer. The only reason I am switching blogs for You Capture is because I kind of want to reserve TLBP for my business. Yes, the business that has yet to get it’s wheels turning, but that’s a discussion for another day.

SO! This week’s You Capture theme was the outdoors.

I can’t say I’m really too impressed with my photos this week because when I thought outdoors, I thought color! blooms! warm, golden light! And spring, while it is finally here to stay, I hope, is taking it’s time manifesting itself here on the prairie. Well, not really any longer than it should, but I’m just impatient.

So, I did what Beth wanted us to do and got outside. And captured what color I could find. It’s definitely there and becoming more visible every day! Like I said, I’m just impatient.

My rhubarb is showing its face! You have no idea how excited this makes me! The idea that before too very long, I’ll be able to harvest something from my garden and construct some yumminess with it. WAY before most of the rest of the garden is ready to harvest.

Oh, look! Here’s a bit of color!

Stuck in a puddle.

And none too happy about it. Especially when you have a mom who takes pictures of eeeeeeeeverything and won’t help you out. Poor bubs. But hey, at least he was playing outside!

A Public Service Announcement So You Don’t Fall Over In Shock…

No, not fall over in shock from the fact that I’m actually blogging here again.

I’m referencing to the fact that I’ve never really announced our plans for where we’ll birth this time. Which, really, do I have to? No, not really. But in my outspokenness for the beauty, safety and general betterness of home birth, I feel I should.

So, here it is: if all goes to plan and this little one is not born in our bathtub after a freakishly short labor, or alongside a cold, rural, North Dakota byway, we will be going to a hospital like normal, average Americans. *gasp!* I know.

Due to some things involving money and health insurance plans, as well as the fact that we live 50 miles from the nearest hospital equipped for the kind of emergencies we would have to transfer for and that the lack of midwifery legislation in the state means home birth midwives can’t carry things like Pitocin, this seemed like the best option. While I totally respect those that feel those risks are low enough to make the experience worth it, I personally couldn’t get past the “What if?” I just couldn’t.

And although I was terrified and vehemently opposed to the hospital idea at first, but I’ve done my research, asked my questions, lost sleep, and stressed out and now I’ve come around. I’ve come to realize that, while there’s a lot of unnecessary junk that goes on in the {American} hospital birthing world today, there’s also a lot of educated, informed women who know what they want and walk in to have perfectly beautiful, physiologically normal, natural births. Not that that’s what everyone wants, but it’s what I want and what I honestly and truly feel is best for me and my baby.

So, I’ve found a doctor whom I feel respects my choices and my ability to make those choices. I’ve contacted a doula with whom I’ll meet up later this week. JD Man and I have talked over the short, bulleted birth plan and he’s on board, even though he too would prefer to just stay home for the whole thing.

And honestly? I’m looking forward to it! I’m looking forward to the amazing thing that giving birth is. I’m looking forward to having a day or two of just me and baby relaxing {hopefully} in the hospital, focusing on nursing and bonding before being thrown back into everyday life again. I’m looking forward to see how the whole thing turns out!

All that to say: yep, we’re having a baby in that evil place called a hospital! And we’re ok with it! Now please go find some smelling salts!